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Craig Clemens

February 16, 2017
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Another year, another industry award show that dragged on and on with no end in sight. And while there were moments of great heights – Chance the Rapper beating out the Chainsmokers for best new artist, Cee Lo Green doing his best to affect Google searches about himself and Beyonce doing Beyonce things – it was just another award show in a sea of award shows that all happen in the same few weeks every year. This years Grammy’s will again be forgotten. But for posterity, here are some of the moments that we should probably not forget about.

James Cordon really isn’t that great at doing this type of thing
The guy has a thing. That’s fine – we’ve all got to have a thing, and he’s found his – kind of interviewing celebrities and singing along to their hits while driving them to the airport and putting it on the internet. Youtube is a strange and wondrous place where anybody can put a show up and become a star, but just because someone is popular does not mean that they should be given free range to host an awards show.

I worry where award shows are going here. At this rate it wont be long until that hot wings guy is hosting the BET Awards.

Adele doesn’t want to sing “Hello” anymore
Trivia question: when did “Hello” come out? Answer: 2015, over two and a half years ago. When you’re singing the same song over and over and over and over again would how stoked do you think she was when she was asked to do it again to start off the 2017 Grammys? This song is going to be her “Start Me Up,” a track that was extremely successful but “holy crap if she could never sing another song again it might just be that one.” Adele has the ability to show her human emotions on-stage and in her performances, which is great, this is something that everybody really loves about Adele. But it becomes pretty obvious about half way through this thing that she really doesn’t want to be singing this song anymore.

Ed Sheeran is really trying to convince us that he hasn’t completely sold out
Okay – your latest song was a Rihanna-based club-pop tune. You want to make some money towards the tail end of the tropical house trend. I have no troubles with this (neither does Maroon 5 or Coldplay). This sort of looping parlor trick should have been done years ago when he wasn’t completely trying to stay relevant. It’s impressive how he still remained to sound completely overproduced.

Bruno Mars might be the best overall entertainer left
It’s difficult to name someone how has the onstage skill set that Bruno Mars currently has. Before the beginning of last year you may have said Prince. Welp, sorry, that was last year. Bruno Mars might be the only one left who has the guitar, singing, dancing and stage presence chops to pull something like this off. In the 70s it was James Brown, in the 80s it was Prince and MJ, the 90s handed it off to the likes of Usher and Pharrell while the 00s saw the rise of Justin Timberlake, Chris Brown and the like, now we’re in the aught-10s and who’s left that isn’t doing soundtrack work for animated films? Mars is this heir apparent of this pop-funk-R&B linage and all he has to do is not completely screw this up for himself.

Chance the Rapper and Anderson .Paak are the future
This is only the beginning. Last year we were blown away from what was offered by the likes of Kendrick Lamar and D’Angelo – who artists who took their artistry to the next level to offer us something we’ve never seen before. This year we’ve got Chance the Rapper and Anderson .Paak. Both of these hip hop/R&B acts had their coming out parties this year and now every rumored collaboration is front page news.

Beyonce will not slow down
I know a few people in my life who had twins and they’re all completely awestruck that Beyonce is on her feet let alone recommitting to Coahcella and doing this crazy shit at the Grammys. She’s probably not slowing down during this, at all. Expect a new album, world tour, reality show, maternity clothing line, starting a line of dance yoga studios.. name it, she’s probably gunna do it over the next 6 months.